Singing for your Supper

Friday 24th February.
Heard  your voice again yesterday. It was so good. So good. It was a lovely warm afternoon and we had a lovely time having lunch outside and then your brother came home and you were both jumping on the trampoline. You used to sing on the trampoline and this seemed to trigger something in you. You began to make noises. You'd been using your voice for a couple of days - screaming and 'singing' rather tunelessly but using it all the same as if you were unsure that it still worked and surprised to find that it did. You did this on the trampoline and slowly but surely you were singing. Proper words. Your brother's face when he came into the kitchen to see me - 'Mummy - have you heard Paisley?'. He was overjoyed.
By the time Daddy came home at 7.30  two and a half hours later though, you were back to whispering and this morning when I waved you off in Pre School you were silent again.
You were so excited to have your voice back. It was your 'best bit - finding your voice'. Again, it had been hiding in the wardrobe. Jude had been looking after it for you. Just like your book.
Got to pick myself up even though I'm a little crushed but we've got to carry on.
Things to mention -

• You seem to have regressed with going to the toilet. One of the symptoms of Progressive Mutism is a fear of going to the toilet at school etc., but you need me to go with you at home too now. I wonder whether this is a fear of coming down the stairs after your fall which preceded all this. Maybe this is indeed traumatic mutism caused by the fall?
• Part of me wonders whether I'm making things worse because obviously I'm interpreting your sign language for people so in effect I'm speaking for you. Is this making it worse? The books all say that the expectation of speaking is something that I should take away so I can't put you under any pressure to talk but somehow it seems that I'm indulging you..
• You're a happy and adorable child and you do seem to be accepting no better these days without the tantrums that you've developed recently.

Anyway, the fight is still ongoing - and as yet I've still not heard anything from the Paediatrician.

Then and Now....

So, now we're in September 2012, I wanted to give an update on how Paisley's doing.
Her non speaking lasted 35 days and has only come back since March a couple of times.
She's just started school, she's continuing to go to ballet every week, she's started going to tap dancing..and she's still talking! Yeay!
I can still count the number of people that she will speak to of her own accord on one hand but she's making significant progress.
She's still never spoken to my brother, her uncle but she has spoken to next door a couple of times. It's not perfect but it's better than it was.
Starting school was worrying - she'd begun to speak again at Pre School so I was hopeful but thought the change in teachers might start it all off again.
However, she's spoken continually since she started.
I can't just leave her with any child minder or anything as she won't speak to just anyone.
We still do the 'it's normal to be shy but it's good to be brave' thing and this seems to calm her. Taking the pressure off her to speak definitely has been the best way to go.
She's in a ballet show in November and I have no idea whether she'll make it on stage but I'm hopeful.
We take each day as it comes and don't rule out it ever coming back.

I hope this blog helps anyone in the same situation as it was so scary and there's so little known about the condition. I'd rather have Selective Mutism which is what she seems to have now than Progressive Mutism if there's a choice, as the thought that she wouldn't speak to me was terribly hard.
Doctors don't seem to be much assistance in my experience so it was down to me and I've done the best I could to heighten information and knowledge about the condition, as there was precious little for me.
Good luck. It will sort itself out but it's a hard slog...xxx